Saturday, June 20, 2009

One Ring to Rule Them All

Yep. I’ve done it. Taken the plunge. Dropped the hammer. Went for the dive. Drank the kool-aid. Gave up the ghost. Whatever other clichés there are to describe what I’ve done.
I’ve been lucky enough to be dating the most incredible girl over the last two years of my life and a few weeks ago, I grew the stones enough to ask her to marry me. Actually, this process started about six months ago. I was laying in bed and just thinking about Anita; I realized how much I've changed and how different and wonderful my life is. I also realized how much I want Anita and I to live and experience life together.
I never previously really understood what it meant to want to be married before. To want to spend the rest of your life waking up next to the same person. Falling asleep together. Eating together. Talking. Watching television. Living life together. Sure, I thought I did, but I was dumb. What they say is true. You really never know until it actually happens to you.
But I digress. Six months ago, I decided I would ask Anita to marry me and took the appropriate steps. I started saving money for a ring, asked her best friend to help me pick it out. Told everyone that needed telling and 6 months later, here we are.
The days leading up to the actual proposal were wrought with discourse. Just an absolute nauseating few days of trying to avoid spilling the beans to Anita that involved way more deception than I’m used to with her.
Of course… In the end it was all worth it because it led to a day that I (and hopefully she) will never forget for the rest of my life.
The scene: I have decided to send Anita through a scavenger hunt that will eventually lead to a candlelit dinner by the waterfall at Resica Falls. She has NO idea what’s about to happen.
From Engagement
The following events take place between 5:00am and 12:00am on May 22nd, 2009.
5:00am: BEEP BEEP BEEP! My alarm screams at me. Normally, I would hit the snooze button a few times, but not today. I’m filled with nervousness, excitement, fear, happiness, and everything in between. I spring out of bed and into the shower to start getting ready.
5:30am: Off to work. Hop in the car, put on The Fan and start my journey. While I’m pretending to listen to the overnight guy on the fan, I’m actually going over in my head everything that needs to be done today to make this spectacular.
6:30am: At work. I can’t even think about working. Not even close. I can only get in there and just be nervous and think.
7:00am: Coworkers Christian and Mike start heckling me telling me that she’s going to say no. Gotta love those guys.
9:00am: Coworker Philth comes to work and joins the brigade. At this point, I’m pacing around the office. Mike tells me that I’m a douche. That doesn’t really distinguish this from any other day.. I just figured I’d throw that in there.
10:00am: I reveal that I’m not really scared that she’ll say no, I’m more afraid that my elaborate scheme isn’t going to work. It took 2 weeks and 4 people to plan this thing properly (also with an assist from my friend Rita).
10:30am: I’m still pacing. Mike reminds me (again) that I’m a douche. It’s nice to know on such a big day that there’s at least SOME consistency.
11:00am: Mike has gotten to the part of the day where he just whispers “she’s going to say no” under his breath while he sits behind me. Christian wants to know if I have a plan in case she does say no. Philth is just dirty. Gotta love my job.
12:00pm: Mike reassures me that everything will be alright and that everything is going to be ok. The universe collapses. He also reminds me that I’m a douche.  Good thing, I almost forgot.
1:00pm: Time to leave. For once in a long time, Mike and I are leaving at the same time. Obviously, we wait for each other. We walk out together and Mike wishes me luck.
1:03pm: While we’re driving out, I block Mike’s exit route just to be a dick. I feel a little better.
1:04pm: While Mike and I are both at the exit to Suburban, Mike starts screaming “BONZAI!” a la Karate Kid to encourage/assuage my concerns. Sure, it was a little corny.. Ok.. it was really corny… But it was really nice and for some strange reason, it really DID make me feel better. It just goes to show you… Nothing calms you down like good old Mr. Miyagi.
1:15pm: WHAT.THE.EFF?!?! I hit traffic on route 80. Traffic?!! I left at one o’clock SPECIFICALLY to AVOID this crap. Lucky for me it’s not THAT bad. We’re moving slow, but at least we’re moving. 80 can at times be a parking lot.
2:15pm: Stop at Mr. Zs to buy 3 dozen flowers. 2 dozen rozens and 1 dozen purple daisies. I intend to combine the petals from 1 dozen red roses and the purple daisies to make a trail that Anita will have to follow. Ambitious? A little. But it would really make everything over the top.
From Engagement
2:20pm: Stop at Resica Falls to do a walk-through of the path I’m going to have Anita take to find her gifts and make sure the path keeps the dinner hidden at all times.
2:30pm: Home! Not bad. Of course, in my rush to get home, I forget to pick up the balloons. So, I guess Mike was right. I really am a douche.
2:35pm: Thank God for the all star that is James George. I sent him a text message asking him to bring me a bunch of Mylar balloons and he is happy to oblige. Nothing to worry about. James is clutch as Hell.
2:45pm: Start creating the cards for Anita’s scavenger hunt through Resica Falls. Of course, being the ass that I am, I make every possible mistake I can think of. Of the 4 cards I ended up with, I must’ve printed 8 or 9 because I made so many mistakes. Whatever though, I needed it to be PERFECT.
From Engagement
3:00pm-ish: James arrives with the balloons. I show him my progress on everything and he’s a bit indifferent. That’s not right. He’s excited but also exhausted. That’s more accurate. He tells me that he’s going to nap until the time we have to leave.
From Engagement
3:15pm: Anita starts IMing me on gchat! DRATS! I can’t be talking to her! It’ll blow everything up! I need to focus on everything I need to do. The answer? Lie my ass off. I tell Anita that I’m in a training session for the rest of the day. Sign off GChat and turn my phone off. Problem solved.
3:30pm: The prep work is basically done. Plates, cups, flowers, everything is seemingly ready to go. I bought a (wonderfully bedazzled) bottle of Moet that came with its own chill chamber and the chill chamber needed to be put in the frozen in order to chill the champagne. It should be in there for about 2 hours. Of course, James put his new little science toy in the freezer the night before. Can’t be too safe, right? I check on it to make sure it isn’t an ice cube. We’re good.
From Engagement
3:34pm: I’m done!? What do I do with myself? How could this be? I have 3 hours to kill. I certainly couldn’t talk to Anita because she thinks I’m in a training session. James is asleep. How ever will I solve this problem? Oh HELLO MLB ‘09 The Show’s Road to the Show. How are you?? I guess I can play a couple of games.
5:30pm: 1.5 SOLID hours of gaming. And to think, this day is only going to get BETTER. I walk upstairs and give James a good 1/2 an hour warning that we need to head over to Resica Falls.
6:00pm: James and I pack the truck and his brother’s car and head over to Resica. I park my truck in the front and James decides to drive down and unload at the dinner site. Nice job.
6:05pm: As we’re setting everything up, the first major mistake dawns on me. “James, this is great, isn’t it? The dinner is going to be beautiful and she’ll hopefully love it. One thing, though. Wouldn’t it be great if we had chairs??!?” Yep. James and I had forgotten to pick up the chairs. Again, it seems that Mike was right.. I am a douche.
6:15pm: As we set up, we decide on what to do. While I stayed and set the scene, James would go pick up the chinese food and chairs. Good plan.
6:20pm: I am sweating like you wouldn’t believe. I first set up the dinner with a great view of Resica. The dinner was to be composed of chinese food, grape soda, and champagne. All her favorite (the champagne is more my favorite
From Engagement
6:25pm: There’s a bridge between the view of the falls and a pond at Resica where Anita and I took our favorite picture. I set up the balloons there. This was to be clue #3 in Anita’s hunt.
From Engagement
6:27pm: I make a trail of flower petals from the balloons to where it needed to be by the bouquet of roses (which was clue #2).
From Engagement
6:30pm: I set the flowers and made the trail from where I would park the car (the scene of clue #3) and created another trail to the final clue.. #4. This is a photo album that I had created through CVS. It had pictures (with captions that I wrote in) depicting the last 2 years of our relationship.
From Engagement
6:50pm: James gets back. The chairs! SUCCESS! The food! It smelled so delicious. I was tempted to forget the whole thing and just eat there with James… Ok… Maybe not.
6:55pm: I set off to go get Anita. She had spent the day with her family at the park and they were going to meet me somewhere to get her.
7:00pm: I am lost. Would you believe it? James had driven my car onto the park to unload the chairs and I had NO idea how to get back to the road. Seriously, my douchiness is starting to surprise even ME. I search around and find the exit and set on my way. Idiot.
7:10pm: I make it to Country Kettle. I’m nervous. I call my sister for some last minute courage. She wasn’t home so I just left a message and sent a text to make sure that she doesn’t call me back. Don’t want a premature congratulations to blow the whole thing up!
7:15pm: Anita’s family brings her to me. She really has no idea. She thinks that we’re “finally” going on a picnic that she’s been whining to go on for almost a month. Little did she know that I was putting it off for JUST THIS REASON.
7:20pm: Checkpoint 1. I carefully send James the text message to know to light the candles and to leave the area.
7:23pm: DISASTER! My mom had left her pink sunglasses in the truck when she gave it to me! Why is this bad? Because Anita finds the sunglasses on the floor, decides to put them away. Where?? IN THE GLOVE BOX! THE SITE OF CLUE #1! It almost happened in slow motion. The glove box KREPT open and the envelope SLOWLY revealed from its hiding spot. I thought it was over.
7:24pm: Praying that she really didn’t notice the envelope, I remain quiet. Of course, less than a second later… She asks me what that is. I try and blow it off as nothing. My “It’s nothing… Forget it” was met with, “Fine, I’ll just open it then!” DISASTER!
7:25pm: Alright, go for broke. “FINE! You ruined it! I had a surprise planned for you for our picnic and now you found me out. I hope you are happy.”
7:26pm: She buys it. I can’t believe she buys it. She’s sitting there with this smirk on her face because she thinks she just broke up one of my plots to surprise her or something. Sucker. She deserves what she’s about to get.
7:30pm: We make it to the drop point. I tell Anita to wait in her seat for a second while I “got the food and stuff” from the trunk. I make my way to the trunk, open it, and exclaim, “OH NO!! I FORGOT THE BLANKETS AT HOME!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! We’ll go back and get them.” Of course, there are no blankets. In fact, while I’m giving her this line, I’m actually setting up the champagne and clue #3 in the trunk of the car.
From Engagement
7:31pm: I convince her that I need to run over to the ground to pee and that I’d be right back. I close the trunk, go over to the passenger seat, kiss her, and run into the woods.
7:32pm: Once I reached a safe distance from the car and was confident she couldn’t see me, I sent her a text message telling her to open that envelope in the glove box. The game was on.
7:45pm: I’m getting nervous, I’ve heard nothing from her. I sent her a text message asking where she was. She responded telling me that she was getting there. I guess I would have to wait.
7:55pm: It’s almost completely dark right now. The area with clue #4 is elevated from the point of the dinner, but I couldn’t see it. I didn’t know how to prepare. I knew she was going to be coming in a minute or two, and I was SO SO nervous that she would just pop up in front of me and I would freeze.
7:58pm: Blessing in disguise. The Mylar balloons reflected what little light was left and the fact that they were floating a foot above her head allowed me to see them. I saw her making her way to clue #4 and eventually start making her way towards me.
8:00pm: She had a look of bewilderment on her face that I will never forget. It was wonderful. She exclaimed, “What is this?” because she STILL had no idea what’s going on. I guess we’ll just keep going.
8:01pm: I instructed her to open the gift. She starts thumbing through the book and I think it dawns on her all at once as she gives out a final, “WAIT! What IS this??” As she finishes the book.
8:03pm: That’s my cue. I take out the fortune cookie with the fortune, drop to one knee. In the middle of my little spiel, she starts basically balling and obviously, that means I have to start balling. I still get through it. She opens the fortune cookie…
From Engagement
8:04pm: She can’t speak. She shakes her head yes as the tears are strolling down her face, I place the ring on her finger (it fit! YES!) and she held me for what seemed like an eternity.
From Engagement
8:07pm: Of course, the eternity was probably around 3 minutes. She loosened her grasp a bit and invited her to eat the dinner. We sit down and eat. She is absolutely speechless for the next ten minutes. I think this may be the happiest moment of my life that I can remember.
8:15pm: We’ve eaten next to nothing. We’re both still kind of in shock. At this point, we’ve just been yacking and Anita just keeps repeating phrases like “OH MY GOD!” and the like. We decide to start calling people.
8:20pm: Calling my mom is a circus. What felt like EVERY ONE of her friends was there and wanted to talk to both me and Anita for absolutely ever. My douchebag cousin tries to ruin the moment as best he can by talking to Anita and saying things like, “You know how he is.. You know what you’re getting in to. You know, right?” Really? Who does that? Whatever, though, he wouldn’t ruin this for me, as much as he hard as he would try. It was douchy enough for even ANITA to bring it up, so figured I would. What an ass he is.
8:30pm: While Anita is on the phone with her family, I go back to the car and drive it onto our dinner area. We start to pack up. The scene was over and I’d have to say it was pretty much a success.
From Engagement
8:32pm: Back to the house. James is there, but mysteriously decides to go see a movie. We try to eat a little, but it doesn’t work. We fumble around for a while and call more people and just bask in the moment for a bit.
9:30pm: We watch LeBron make that RIDICULOUS last second 3 point game winner to beat the Magic. Uhm.. It was sick.
11:00pm: Exhausted! What a day, eh? Hopefully a day that neither of us will soon forget.
A real big thanks to EVERYONE that made this happen for us. Since the engagement, life has been a little crazy, but it’s also been really awesome.