Is it because you weren't in our wedding party? I know that I played a very special part in your wedding, but how could I? It broke my heart to not have you there. It broke me. What could I do, though? Anita is the person that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and you made absolutely no effort to make any kind of connection with her. That last phone call I had with you a week or so before the wedding when you asked me what part you would take in the wedding. You called me just so you could be angry with me. It was a week before my wedding, don't you think you would've gotten a little bit more advance notice than that? Maybe the fact that your husband was in my wedding party and had to attend a lot of pre-wedding events could've been a little hint? No. You had to call me just so I would have to say that you weren't going to play a larger part in the wedding.
My question is why? WHY? What did I do to deserve such ire? I loved you so much. It's been more than 5 years since we've been real friends and I still love you. It's been more than 2 years since you absolute insulted and spit on our friendship and I can't stop. I just can't. I've tried so fucking hard to hate you. I can't. I fail every time. Every time I ask your ex how you're doing I try and sound as nonchalant as possible but half of me wants to beg him to ask you to just call me once.
I don't understand how you can be mad at me for not being included in my wife's wedding party when you probably didn't say more than 10 sentences to her in the 3 years we were together before the wedding. How does that work? You know why the other girls were included? Because they had a relationship with her. That's how it works. Do you know how bad I wanted you to be a part of that? But what could I do? You'd taken yourself completely out of my life so you could enjoy the solitude of your own island.
Well guess what? Sometimes when you sit on your own island, you end up being surrounded by nothing but water.
But really, the wedding was really just the culmination of a festering illness. But that'll have to be another late night rant.
