So, I've qualified for a semi-experimental procedure to help mitigate some of the symptoms of GVHD. It's called Photoforessis and my first appointment is tomorrow @ 7:00am. I can't express to you how nervous I feel. I'm not nervous so much as to the particulars of the procedure itself, I am worried about it not working. I'm just tired of going through procedures and coming out on the other side feeling like this. You know?
I figured I would let some random grumblings get out into the world before I start this journey to being ACTUALLY better and returning to being at least a (somewhat) productive member of society, a better friend, finally attempt to be a husband deserving of someone like Anita. Oh, I hope so.
First... So, I've become extremely reclusive. Did you ever think in a trillian years that you would associate THAT word with me? Recluse? Paulash? Really? I'm supposed to be the anti-recluse. The recluse's worst nightmare (ahem, Mike). Well, a few weeks ago, my doctor recommended that what might help me feel better emotionally would just be to go out and spend some time with people that I know and care about. It was supposed to help 2 fold; one I would gain some stamina outside of the house and two, I would feel better emotionally being surrounded by my compadres.
Out of the 10 engagents that I had planned with my friends, I canceled 8 of them. When I was sitting and discussing this with my friend this afternoon, I couldn't believe that number. When have I ever been known to cancel on 80% of my plans? Have I ever had a stretch like this? Ever? Lucky for me that these people have been around for as long as they have or else they'd flake out on me and my life as I've been flaking out on them. The one time I DID go out with a bunch of my guy friends I got so sick afterwards, I could barely get out of bed for the following 3 days. Great advice, Doc. Hopefully, this blood irridation will be the beginning of the end of all this. I still can't believe I canceled on those people.
A lot of premieres for shows for the spring season set off these past couple of weeks. I don't recall any one of them disappointing. Don Draper's wife singing that song to him at his birthday will be in my dreams for WEEKS to come. And Game of Thrones... Oh might Gameof Thrones. If you're not lining up behind Rob Stark at this point, you are on the losing side of this war. Right now there are a lot of stories going on and they are alla kind of scattered so I'm a little afraid of how they're going to tie them all in together, but at the same time, I have faith in HBO to absolutely amaze me in ways I didn't know existed.
I put a decal on our car. It's for the Jedi Order. It means I'm officially a jedi, right? Jedi's can drive Hondas. Sure they can. I'm a Honda driving Jedi. Hello world.
We recently had a breakdown on our main desktop. Thank Tebow for backups. I hope you people out there in Windowland are backing up your data diligintantly. It should be a crime not to!
I'm so excited for baseball season this year. I don't know why. I think that I haven't been able to properly enjoy a baseball game (at the park) in a number of years, and this year I am absolutely DETERMINED to call in some markers from friends that said they'd pay for me to go see a Yankee game for one reason or another. Don't think I didn't take note of what you said... And I plan to hold you to it!! I even have Anita excited at the prospect of tailgating before a game. How this all of a sudden changed for her is beyond me and I'm not going to push it and change her mind!! While I'm cautiously optimistic about the offense (enough to draft ARod in my fantasy league) and have confidence in the pitching, I'm looking for a good season and going deep into the playoffs. But I guess, that's nothing special for us at Yankee Nation.
So let's pivot to this election!! Thank you Republicans for COMPLETELY having this contraception bomb blow up in your face and having anything with a vagina and their own thoughts opposing the Republican Social Agenda. I have never seen poll number dip this fast. Women are leaving Romney faster than Newt leave sick wives. I keed. I keed.
From what I hear about these first two treatments tomorrow and Wednesday is that I shouldn't be waiting on a miracle. This is a long and arduous process and I might not feel the intended effects of the procedure for a few weeks. It's going to be difficult tempering my enthusiasm mainly because I want out of this funk NOW. I want to just get a glimpse of who I used to be. Really. I hope that's not too much to ask.
Is anyone paying attention to the NBA? Me neither. I'll just wait until the 2nd round of the playoffs and start enjoying it from that point on like every other American.
I broke our main desktop computer. Seriously. I did. I feel so stupid when I do something like that. I mean, computer maintenance should CLEARLY be in my wheelhouse yet... Here we are. The silver lining is it gave me an excuse to finally split the video feed so that we can watch the videos on the TV while also keeping it connected to the monitor. It's the low-tech solution to the problem, but that's my favorite way to do things.
My mom bought herself an Amazon Kindle Fire. Oh boy. Her interactions with this device could spawn their own blog.
So, it's the next morning now and my mother and I are in the Perelman Center about 1/2 hour early for my appointment. I made the mistake of bringing her new Kindle Fire with me. Man was I right. She just asked me where the mouse was. I can't make that up. I don't know why she wanted it, but it was on sale and she can certainly have whatever she wants.
Where was I from last night? I should ignore my ramblings and just take pictures of my mom trying to get used to the user interface on the the Kindle Fire... It's amazing. Of course, I can't do that or else I think my mom would slap me across for the first time in 12 or 13 years.
OK. So it's been about 10 minutes and... I don't mean to alarm anyone.. But she's figuring it out. Yeah. She's getting around on the interface and is now surfing the web. Obviously, the apocalypse is upon us. I hope you're wearing clean underwear.
A lot of people think that I'm afraid for this procedure today. I'm not. Sure, the idea of someone slowly removing the blood from my system and then replacing it doesn't exactly sound appetizing, but I've been through much MUCH worse. What I'm most anxious about is it working. That's all I want. I understand it will take a while and that this is just the beginning... But if this doesn't work... THEN WHAT?
The doctors are starting to file in, I should get ready to go. I haven't eaten anything since last night as per doctor's orders so I'm a little bit miserable. There's also REALLY loud construction going on outside that is REALLY REALLY annoying. Hopefully my room will be a little bit quieter and more conducive to some Netflixing.
See you on the other side, Ray.
No comments:
Post a Comment